How Burnout Is Affecting Mothers of Autistic Children

Why aren’t we talking more about how our kids’ burnout is burning us—the neurodivergent mums—too? 🤔

Parenting is hard enough. Now add in the constant juggle of therapy appointments, navigating school systems, pushing for accommodations, and being the family’s emotional anchor 24/7. It’s a lot. It’s too much. So many mums—especially those raising neurodivergent kids—are barely holding it together, running on fumes (and caffeine... lots of caffeine).

When your child is struggling or in burnout, it doesn’t stay in one corner of your life. It takes over. Their pain becomes yours. You’re not just witnessing their overwhelm—you’re feeling it. Layer that with guilt, exhaustion, and the pressure to somehow “do more” and it’s no wonder so many of us are teetering on the edge.

Who’s Carrying the Load?

Let’s be real: it’s mums. It’s almost always mums.

We’re the ones juggling the logistics, coordinating care teams, attending school meetings, fighting for services, handling the mental load—and somehow still trying to be present, patient, and “regulated.” Even at midnight, when we should be asleep, we’re lying awake wondering if we missed something important or if tomorrow will be the day it all finally falls apart.

And yet, we blame ourselves for feeling overwhelmed.

Let’s put some numbers to that weight:

In Australia, women spend 64.4% of their total work time on unpaid care, compared to 36.1% for men.

These stats are for the general population. In families with neurodivergent children? That number is likely through the roof.

It’s Not You. It’s the System.

If you’re exhausted, burnt out, or hanging by a thread—it’s not because you’re not strong enough. It’s because the systems around you were never built for you. They’re shaped by patriarchal, capitalist, and neuronormative ideals that have no room for nuance, care, or complexity.

You’re not failing. You’re functioning in conditions that make thriving almost impossible—and yet, somehow, here you are. Still showing up.

If this hits home, please know:

💜 You’re not alone.
💜 You’re not doing it wrong.
💜 You deserve support, too.

Want to talk to someone who gets it? Book a free 20-minute discovery call to learn more about mentoring sessions tailored for neurodivergent mums just like you.

Let’s stop pretending burnout is just a personal problem and start talking about it for what it really is: a systemic issue we shouldn’t have to carry alone.